FRESH NEW STARTS FOR BROKEN HEARTS
It occurs to me that some of you may think that I am no better than you for starting this blog. Well, thats just not the case. See, every other blog I've seen on this site has been a cry for attention. It's all about getting sympathy from other users and posting useless crap about the opposite sex. I like to call these people attention whores, and I find it to be quite pretentious to think that random people around the world would give a shit about my personal exploits with the female gender, or how im doing in school for that matter. These are the kind of people that when youre talking to them in real life, you get one sentence out, and its "Ohh me too! Listen to what happened to me!" I never knew there were so many of you fuckers.
On that note, today I got a 101 on my test in my ethnomusicology course, and that girl who sits next to me in class brushed my hand with hers when I was reaching for my pen.
Friday, October 24, 2003
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
REPENT, AND YE SHALL BE SAVED
Today, as i was walking on campus, every street corner was littered with evangelists passing out free bibles. I noticed that the only people handing them out were men in suits that looked to be at least seventy years of age. I thought that perhaps organized religion is in a decline, This is evident in the decline in people entering the seminary in recent years, especially catholicism. Hell, thats a huge reason why they keep recycling the pedophiles they have installed in parishes right now. Theyre low on warm bodies. Perhaps there are no young people in the church, and the whole purpose of this venture was to breathe some new life into it. Then I thought that maybe the church used the older members because they look pathetic and sad and people would feel sorry for them and take a bible. I didnt really reach a conclusion. Every time one of the geriatric evangelists would offer me a bible, I would pat the pack of cigarettes in my pocket that was roughly the same shape as the mini bibles they were handing out, and tell them I already had one. Finally, I asked one of them what church they came from and he told me it was the second church of something or other. Then, he proceeded to tell me that I should visit, or if I was interested he could arrange for one of them to come to my house to try and save me from my transgressions. I thought about that for a second, exploring the possibilities of how I could have fun with that. One of said possibilities included inviting them in to my living room, and holding the conversation with shemale porn playing on the TV. I decided against it, because porn gags are played out. That, and i didnt want to be responsible for one of these people having a coronary.
I realize that this entry in my weblog does not contain the kind of humor that many of you are accustomed to. However, I find organized religion pretty humorous in itself, and well, its my blog, so deal with it.
Today, as i was walking on campus, every street corner was littered with evangelists passing out free bibles. I noticed that the only people handing them out were men in suits that looked to be at least seventy years of age. I thought that perhaps organized religion is in a decline, This is evident in the decline in people entering the seminary in recent years, especially catholicism. Hell, thats a huge reason why they keep recycling the pedophiles they have installed in parishes right now. Theyre low on warm bodies. Perhaps there are no young people in the church, and the whole purpose of this venture was to breathe some new life into it. Then I thought that maybe the church used the older members because they look pathetic and sad and people would feel sorry for them and take a bible. I didnt really reach a conclusion. Every time one of the geriatric evangelists would offer me a bible, I would pat the pack of cigarettes in my pocket that was roughly the same shape as the mini bibles they were handing out, and tell them I already had one. Finally, I asked one of them what church they came from and he told me it was the second church of something or other. Then, he proceeded to tell me that I should visit, or if I was interested he could arrange for one of them to come to my house to try and save me from my transgressions. I thought about that for a second, exploring the possibilities of how I could have fun with that. One of said possibilities included inviting them in to my living room, and holding the conversation with shemale porn playing on the TV. I decided against it, because porn gags are played out. That, and i didnt want to be responsible for one of these people having a coronary.
I realize that this entry in my weblog does not contain the kind of humor that many of you are accustomed to. However, I find organized religion pretty humorous in itself, and well, its my blog, so deal with it.
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
MISSION STATEMENT
So I came across this site as I was perusing a coworkers blog, and I decided I would give it a shot. Now blogs are inherently retarded, but i decided to do it for two reasons.
1. I rock complete balls
2. Since I rock aforementioned balls, any inherently retarded activity that I partake in becomes socially acceptable. and sorry guys, im not into michael moore's politics. Hes still a fat pathetic sack of failure.
DISCLAIMER: If you dont like what I have to say in this site, you're more than welcome to click that little red X in the upper righthand corner of your screen.
So I came across this site as I was perusing a coworkers blog, and I decided I would give it a shot. Now blogs are inherently retarded, but i decided to do it for two reasons.
1. I rock complete balls
2. Since I rock aforementioned balls, any inherently retarded activity that I partake in becomes socially acceptable. and sorry guys, im not into michael moore's politics. Hes still a fat pathetic sack of failure.
DISCLAIMER: If you dont like what I have to say in this site, you're more than welcome to click that little red X in the upper righthand corner of your screen.
IN LIGHT OF RECENT EVENTS
I hate indie rock kids. I went to the Eels show here in town, because i had a free ticket and nothing else to do on a thursday night. The place was filled with you fuckers. You know who you are. You are the douchebags that wear womens jeans because they feel oh so tight. You idolize Rivers Cuomo, and you wear the buddy holly glasses and dont wash your hair. You are the reason i cant get a cup of coffee because you're loafing around the coffee house bitching to your friends about how the new "my bloody valentine" album is too mainstream. Youre all fucking cookiecutter pieces of shit. You drink PBR and fat cat and your houses are wallpapered with the album covers of shitty indie rock bands.
Keep in mind, im generally a very tolerant person. i just have a problem with people who try to be nonconformists by dressing exactly like each other. If you fit my description of an indie rock kid, please proceed to punch yourself in the balls and never procreate.
now before i get a billion emails flooding my inbox saying "haha dork! the Eels arent indie rock!" i could care less. that doesnt stop the indie rock fucktards from coming out of the woodwork to congregate around shitty music.
I hate indie rock kids. I went to the Eels show here in town, because i had a free ticket and nothing else to do on a thursday night. The place was filled with you fuckers. You know who you are. You are the douchebags that wear womens jeans because they feel oh so tight. You idolize Rivers Cuomo, and you wear the buddy holly glasses and dont wash your hair. You are the reason i cant get a cup of coffee because you're loafing around the coffee house bitching to your friends about how the new "my bloody valentine" album is too mainstream. Youre all fucking cookiecutter pieces of shit. You drink PBR and fat cat and your houses are wallpapered with the album covers of shitty indie rock bands.
Keep in mind, im generally a very tolerant person. i just have a problem with people who try to be nonconformists by dressing exactly like each other. If you fit my description of an indie rock kid, please proceed to punch yourself in the balls and never procreate.
now before i get a billion emails flooding my inbox saying "haha dork! the Eels arent indie rock!" i could care less. that doesnt stop the indie rock fucktards from coming out of the woodwork to congregate around shitty music.
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