STAGNATION

Those of you that know me also know that I am in a transitional period in my life. Everything around me is changing at a pace that is becoming rather difficult to keep up with. This is happening on a personal, social and even global scale. Friends that I have known for years are graduating, moving to far off lands, getting worthwhile jobs, getting married, getting pregnant, and otherwise perpetuating the cycle of human life. The world is changing as well. Why is this so difficult for me to partake in? For years, I have been dreading this transition. I adopted an apathetic and sometimes morose attitude towards my own future. I felt that there was little for me to look forward to. I think that it played a rather large role in my inability to muster the stones to graduate from The University of Kansas. And only now, as my graduation seems to be an inevitability, am I realizing that I have payed a price. My fear induced apathy has caused life to pass me by. It hasn't passed completely, thankfully, but I have put myself into a position of distinct disadvantage. I have lost friendships, opportunities, and potential love with my ineffectual disregard for the changes going on around me. I know that there are many people that may not even have an inkling of what they would like to do with themselves. But I ask you which is worse; a person that truthfully does not know the path they would like to take, or a one that knows what they want out of life, but lacks the proactivity, ambition, or gumption to achieve it? While I must admit that it is rather refreshing to see this in type, even if only to have a concrete perception of what is actually wrong with me, I have done little to change this current trend. I suppose graduation is a large step in the right direction, but what is next? In this world, very little is certain. It is a dark and politically correct age that we have entered, and much to my own chagrin, I fear that it is far from over. As a nation, we are burning bridges faster than we can cross them. There is no common ground. No compromise. I'd like to say that I have turned over a new leaf, and that everything will turn out splendidly in the long run, but I suppose that only time will tell. Ask me in six months.